I’m sitting at the kitchen table staring at my coffee cup.
Pluto has been retrograde since April the 18th, and as it moves closer and closer to making a third perfect square to my natal Moon I can hear the drums of death, once again, getting louder and louder.
I can recognise that feeling too well.
I can recognise that pool of dark feelings starting to overflow inside me once more.
The sadness of not belonging. Irrational feelings of loneliness and abandonment. The fear of never experiencing how it feels to be truly loved by someone else. The sadness of realising that perhaps you have never been loved for who you are.
The fear that perhaps there is a reason for that. (Your own makings)
Looking at myself in the mirror and facing the terror of perhaps not having anything to offer, of being terribly hollow under all of this…
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Lost Dudeist Astrology 