poem / prayer / battle cry for the leo new moon

shaunga tagore

I want joy to be easy

not a laborious exercise in mindfulness
not a lukewarm under seasoned meal
at the end of hours of positive self-talk

I want joy to grab me by my wrists
pull me back from dangling off that mountain cliff
with the same godly strength I wield
every time I try to make a relationship work

I don’t want joy to need my permission
I don’t want it waiting around
until I figure out how to ask

I want its helpless devotion
even if I was too proud to notice

I want it to chase me
vow to never leave me
even if I ran in the other direction
even if I was too scared of getting hurt

I want joy
when I’m too exhausted to earn it

I want joy
when I don’t deserve it

I want its guarantee
the kind of commitment
that doesn’t…

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