“I’m Affected by Mercury in Retrograde” Club


This morning, for the first time in 41 years, I slammed the door on my finger. On a scale of one to ten, it was a seven-point-five. Running it under cold water only made it the pain come in bursts and I was certain a nerve had been severed because the finger throbbed all morning. I’m not sure if human digits are designed to withstand the force blunt trauma of solid wood doors.

We had visitors for breakfast so I anxiously tidied up the apartment which was littered with remnants from this week’s bathroom renovation project co-sponsored by Life and Murphy’s Law. As I navigated down the hallway minefield of dirty sponges and buckets of dried grout, I arrived at my double doored- tool closet and yanked them open just to have a solid steel ball the size of a marble clunk me on the top of my head. I…

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