- She falls in love so fast and hard it’s freaky.
You picked this one out of the tinder line-up because she sounded like fun—and she is. You had sex on the first date because, well, it was fun. Which is not the same as having a drive through wedding the last time you checked. Yeah but by the time you get home from boning, this one’s written a mega-scrolldown-demanding paean to your incredible mind and how intellectual your dirty talk is, saying doesn’t it all make you think about astrophysics, the two of you particles colliding into a new universe and what are you doing tomorrow?
- She convinces you it’s a good idea to fall in love so fast/hard it’s freaky.
You’re not made of stone. The text paean was addended with e-tickets to a David Sedaris reading and a picture of a sex toy she bought especially for you.
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